Rejoicing in the midst of great sorrow...

Josh, my brother's best friend, took his final earthly breath Saturday night at 6:50 pm and entered into heaven. I wonder what that is like... to be suffering one moment, and the next to be free from pain and sin. I wonder if Dad was there to welcome Josh... I wonder what it's like to no longer walk by faith, but now walk by sight...

So many questions... but such HOPE!

Dancing in the Storm

Sometimes life all around seems to be storm... death and suffering seem to be crashing in all around... and it doesn't make sense...

Josh, my brother's best friend, is in his final moments on earth. He was diagnosed with leukemia on January 8th of last year. He's fought valiantly. But it seems God is calling him home. He's 21... engaged... a young man with a heart for the Lord.

"He gives and takes away...

my heart will choose to say, 'Lord, blessed be your name.' "

The boyfriend of one of my students committed suicide on Wednesday night. Doesn't make sense... the big question everyone is asking, "WHY?" Only you know, Lord. Use this for good, though we can't comprehend what that might be.

In the past three weeks, I've known 9 people who have died. It's heavy...

BUT I can rest. I grieve, but I rest in knowing that I cannot and will not figure it out. I see the underside of a great tapestry... it's full of knots and what appear as cut pieces of thread. It's not beautiful. But I know the other side of that canvas is beauty beyond what I can imagine. So, I rest in the arms of the One who has designed and is creating the tapestry. He's promised that He will never leave His children. And so much more...

Hebrews 2:14-18

"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham's descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."

So, I continue to learn how to dance... in the sun and in the storm.

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished."
Luke 1:45

I found out after our Christmas concert this evening (Friday) that my co-worker, Scott, passed away sometime during our concert... I've spent some time thinking about what Amanda (daughter) and Cheryl (wife) might be going through right now... brings back a lot of memories... my dad left earth on a Friday evening as well... there were so many mixed emotions that night... RELIEF and absolute SORROW... it's kinda like walking through a fog... "what do we do now?"... our primary purpose for weeks and months was to care for, encourage, and help Dad... now he's not here anymore... "what do we do now?"... I remember just walking around the house knowing that life had forever changed, yet not knowing what that really meant. I can imagine that's what Amanda may be feeling right now too.

Lord, right now I pray you would flood Amanda, Cheryl, Scott's parents and other family and friends with PEACE! Give them a night a deep rest and sleep. Wrap Your arms of comfort around them, assuring them of Your sovereignty and complete love for them. The coming days are probably going to be so busy with lots of details to take care of and many people to communicate with... give them supernatural patience, grace, and strength. THANK YOU that we have HOPE! "He who promised is faithful." May You, the God of hope, fill them with all joy and peace as they trust in You. Amen.

The Battle

One of my fellow teachers, Scott, is in what appears to be his final days on earth. He has been battling a brain tumor since August. Without a miracle, Scott will most likely meet the Lord very soon. Brings back so many memories.......

Lord, please be with Scott right now as he walks this path - the valley of the shadow of death. It appears you will meet him face to face very soon... and that is an amazing, yet frightening and saddening thought. Lord, right now flood Scott with peace. His body is in such turmoil... touch his soul in a way only you can. Death is horrible... there are no words to describe the agony of death. Yet, we know you have overcome it! Remind Scott of your incredible love and care even in these moments.

And Lord, please wrap your arms of love and comfort, grace and strength, around Amanda and Cheryl. I've been there..... there is nothing like watching someone you love struggle in between life and death. The agony is indescribable. Fill them with assurance and confidence that they will see Scott again. Bless them with peace that cannot be explained except by your presence in their lives. Lift their eyes to YOU! Give them the strength to face each day supporting and encouraging Scott.

DEATH STINKS! SEPARATION STINKS! BUT WE HAVE HOPE AND WE REST IN THAT HOPE!

We leave everything your hands, and trust you to work your PERFECT will in this!

We love you, Lord.

Amen

I think David is one of my favorite people in the Bible. I am realizing just how much I relate to his life... today in my time with the Lord I read verses in 1 and 2 Samuel where David inquired of the Lord of what he should do. (1 Samuel 23:1-5; 30: 6-8; 2 Samuel 2:1; 5:17-25) He didn't rush ahead of God's timing... he waited for the Lord to direct him. I needed to read those passages today and recognize areas of my life that I am not inquiring of the Lord, but trying to figure out how to move ahead on my own. I so often take things and try to work them out on my own.

I finished by reading 1 Chronicles 17. It is an amazing glimpse into the relationship David had with God. David truly recognized who he was in light of who God was. God blessed David in amazing ways! And David saw that it was not because of what he had done, but because of who God is.

"The help of God does not come to us when we are indifferent. It comes to the man who is depending on God in the thick of the fight. It comes to the one who tarries for the vision of faith. It comes to the one who believes that he who waits upon the Lord shall never be confounded. It comes to the one who rests upon the promises of the Word. It comes to the one who believes that before he calls, God will answer. It comes to the man who lives by faith as if in the actual possession of the answer to his prayer, although the enemy is still around him. It is faith who turns distress into singing."

Alan Redpath in The Making of a Man of God

"O God, most high, most glorious,
the thought of Thine infinite serenity cheers me,
for I am toiling and moiling, troubled and distressed,
but Thou art for ever at perfect peace.
Thy designs cause thee no fear or care of unfulfilment,
they stand fast as the eternal hills.
Thy power knows no bond,
Thy goodness no stint.
Thou bringest order out of confusion,
and my defeats are Thy victories:
The Lord God omnipotent reigneth.

I come to Thee as a sinner with cares and sorrows,
to leave every concern entirely to Thee,
every sin calling for Christ's precious blood;
revive deep spirituality in my heart;
let me live near to the great Shepherd,
hear His voice,
know its tones,
follow its calls.
Keep me from deception by causing me to abide in the truth,
from harm by helping me to walk in the power of the Spirit.
Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities,
burning into me by experience the things I know;
Let me never be ashamed of the truth of the gospel,
that I may bear its reproach,
vindicate it,
see Jesus as its essence,
know in it the power of the Spirit.

Lord, help me,
for I am often lukewarm and chill;
unbelief mars my confidence,
sin makes me forget Thee.
Let the weeds that grow in my soul be cut at their roots;
grant me to know that I truly live only when I live to Thee,
that all else is trifling.
Thy presence alone can make me holy, devout, strong and happy.
Abide in me, gracious God. "

From The Valley of Vision