It's been a while since I've posted... haven't really thought too much about this blog, and I'm not really sure anyone reads it. I'm ok with that. I think I just started it to share some thoughts and know that maybe God could use the glimpses into my relationship with Him to encourage someone else.

Much has happened in the past few months - many good and exciting things!

... One of my good friends got married and I had the privilege of being in her wedding...
... I bought a house!!...
... School finished and I am enjoying summer...
... Another good friend had a baby girl on my birthday...
... I am taking my final class for my Masters degree...

And with all of these good and exciting things comes apathy... why does that seem to happen? Why is it that when life is going ok and coming together it is so easy to put God in the back and instead take personal control? Forgive me, Lord. The poem I posted on my very first blog entry is relevant to this thought. "Valley of Vision". It is true that when we are in the low places -- the valleys of life where the darkness seems more present than the light -- it is then that God's glory shines in greater contrast to our darkness. "In the daytime stars can be seen from the deepest wells, and the deeper the wells, the greater thy stars shine."

Lord, I desire to see You and grow in my relationship with you. Yet, it scares me to ask You to show me who You are... because I don't really desire pain or hardship or sadness or difficulty. Yet, more than not desiring those things, I do desire to know You above all. So, if growing in my relationship with You requires you leading me through a valley, I trust You and I will follow. Aahhh... there is a war inside of me when I say this! Because I really DON'T desire a valley! And I guess growth doesn't always happen in a valley, so, Lord, I'd love if we could continue to grow our relationship on the high planes and mountains. More than anything, Lord, direct me steps in Your perfect plan and path for my life.

"O my Savior, help me.
I am slow to learn, so prone to forget, so weak to climb;
I am in the foothills when I should be on the heights;
I am pained by my graceless heart,
My prayerless days,
My poverty of love,
My sloth in the heavenly race,
My sullied conscience,
My wasted hours,
My unspent opportunities.
I am blind while light shines around me:
Take the scales from my eyes
Grind to dust the evil heart of unbelief.
Make it my chieftest joy to study thee,
Meditate on thee,
Gaze on thee,
Sit like Mary at thy feet,
Lean like John on thy breast,
Appeal like Peter to thy love,
Count like Paul all things dung.
Give me increase and progress in grace so that there may be
MORE DECISION IN MY CHARACTER,
MORE VIGOUR IN MY PURPOSE,
MORE ELEVATION IN MY LIFE,
MORE FERVOUR IN MY DEVOTION,
MORE CONSTANCY IN MY ZEAL.
As I have a position in the world,
Keep me from making the world my position.
May I never seek in the creature
What can be found only in the Creator,
Let not faith cease from seeking thee until it vanishes into sight.
Ride forth in me, thou King of Kings and Lord of Lords,
That I may live victoriously, and in victory attain my end.

from "The Valley of Vision"