Humility

I'm starting to recognize that my understanding of humility is incorrect... I've lived my life with the perspective that humility is putting others above yourself. Don't get me wrong, that IS part of humility. But that is moral humility rather than Biblical humility. True humility is so much more... it is keeping God on the Throne -- keeping Him above myself! Too often I put others above myself, all the while taking God off the Throne of my life and putting myself on it. I help and assist others in my own power and strength... doing and saying what I think is best... instead of looking to God for His power, strength, and direction. Sometimes what I do for others is not what God would have me do... it's for my personal glory. Lord, forgive me! Help me to keep You on the Throne so that I can allow You to work in and through me.

"For this is what the high and loft One says - he who lives forever, whose name is holy: 'I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite'" (Isaiah 57:15).

"We must learn of Jesus, how He is meek and lowly of heart. He teaches us where true humility takes its rise and finds its strength: in the knowledge that it is God who worketh all in all, and that our place is to yield to Him in perfect resignation and dependence - in full consent to be and to do nothing of ourselves. The is the life Christ came to reveal and to impart - a life to God that came through death to sin and self. If we feel that this life is too high for us and beyond our reach, this insight must but the more urge us to seek it in Him - for it is the indwelling Christ who will live in us this life, meek and lowly. If we long for this, let us, meanwhile, above everything, seek the holy secret of the knowledge of the nature of God, as He every moment works all in all - the secret, of which all nature and every creature, and above all, every child of God, is to be the witness: that is nothing but a vessel, a channel, through which the living God can manifest the riches of His wisdom, power, and goodness. The root of all virtue and grace, of all faith and acceptable worship, is that we know that we have nothing but what we receive, and bow in deepest humility to wait upon God for it."
Andrew Murray in Humility

"The spiritual giants of old were men who at some time became acutely conscious of the real Presence of God and maintained that consciousness for the rest of their lives...

they experienced God."

A. W. Tozer

"My God, I bless thee that thou hast given me the eye of faith,
to see thee as Father,
to know thee as a covenant God,
to experience thy love planted in me;
For faith is the grace of union
By which I spell out my entitlement to thee:
Faith casts my anchor upwards where I trust in thee
And engage thee to be my Lord.
Be pleased to live and move within me,
Breathing in my prayers,
Inhabiting my praises,
Speaking in my words,
Moving in my actions,
Living in my life,
Causing me to grow in grace
Thy bounteous goodness has helped me to believe,
But my faith is weak and wavering,
Its light dim,
Its steps tottering,
Its increase slow,
Its backslidings frequent;
It should scale the heavens but it lies groveling in the dust.
Lord, fan this divine spark into glowing flame.
When faith sleeps, my heart becomes an unclean thing,
The fount of every loathsome desire,
The cage of unclean lusts,
All fluttering to escape,
The noxious tree of deadly fruit,
The open wayside of earthly tares.
Lord, awake faith to put forth its strength
Until all heaven fills my soul
And all impurity is cast out. "

from The Valley of Vision

The Ferris Wheel

This was written by my mom as she reflected on her path of grief in the time following my dad's death.

"You are on a huge ferris wheel,
higher than any ever seen,
and at the very bottom it whirls you under water for a few seconds
before it brings you back up into the sun and air.
You are not in control of its movement or speed,
and sometimes,

in order to let others disembark somewhere on the side,
it stops at the very top
and you’re suspended in the air,
viewing amazing vistas you have never seen or felt before.
You are in a place far above and removed from the people and activities below,
your heart is soaring with the exquisite beauty,
and you see so much more,
recognizing the hand of the Creator,
feeling Him all around and in you,
and in a greater way than ever before you realize
that this is what you were created for…
worship,
the deepest intimacy with Him.
But other times you are stopped underwater,
you can’t breathe,
it’s the deepest agony,
and you are sure you are drowning.
The pain,
anguish,
and darkness
are so overwhelming,
and as you fight it you become weaker,
more sluggish,
and disoriented.
There is no way out.
Then, at the very last nanosecond of ebbing life,
you sense movement and you are lifted into the air once more,
and you are amazed you have lived through such a desperate,
deep darkness.
The ecstasy is unparalleled as the breeze dries you,
the sun warms you,
and you rise to the top again with even greater wonder,
appreciation,
and adoration for the One who sees your every thrashing need
and lifts you out of your despair.
As you come down the other side
you feel fear in anticipation of inevitably going under the water

again,
yet He has manifested His power and love so clearly the last time
that you find you don’t dread it quite as much.
As time goes on you realize it’s no longer quite as excruciating,
and the times underwater are further apart,
and you learn to sit,
quietly,
waiting,
holding your breath underwater,
in the darkness,
sensing that you are actually not alone…
and you know the light, air and relief will come again,
and someday it will be unbroken light,
pure air
and total peace forever.
And you realize that the cycle of the wheel
is gradually enhancing your appreciation for the gift of life
and the ultimate gift of life eternal one day."

I have been blown away, once again, by my Lord and Savior! Just when I was not sure I could follow through with something the Lord was calling me to do... it seemed too hard... too scary. But He was right there - one step ahead of me, preparing the way, holding my hand and saying, "Trust me."
What a joy it is to dance with Him!
You are amazing, God!